This is what we did today...

Dishwasher Detergent

Here is another one of my "sick of spending so much money on soap?", "tired of loading the dishwasher after dinner and finding you are out of dishwasher soap, again?". Save money and grocery store trips and make your own. It's really easy and last's forever!

Here is what you need.

 Dishwasher Detergent ingredients:
1 box Borax (4lbs 12 oz or 76 oz ) (2.15 kg) found in the detergent isle
1 box Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda (55 oz or 3 lbs 7 oz) found in the detergent isle
24 packages of unsweetened lemonade drink mix, like kool-aid. (**Note: lemonade will stain soap dispenser yellow, another option would be to use citric acid instead of lemonade. You can usually find citric acid in the canning isle )
3 cups Epsom Salt
Lemi Shine rinse aid (this recipe does not work very well without it) You can find Lemi Shine in the dishwasher detergent isle at just about any store. You can also use vinegar as a rinse aid. If your dishes are coming out with spots on them that means you do need a rinse aid.

Christmas

This year was different for us. We decided to shake things up a little and do the twelve days of Christmas with Lauren. The hard part was being organized enough to make sure that I had something everyday. I had to get my shopping done early. We started on the 14th and ended on the 25th. This big hit was her American Girl doll that she had been begging for the past year. She said that she wants to do do the twleve days again next year so I guess it's going to become a tradition. If you read the history behind the twelve days it actually isn't until the 25th through January 6th...Lauren wouldn't go for it...we tried! We spent the weekend just hanging out and having family time. Saturday we are leaving for Mississippi to visit Paul's family. We are looking forward to getting away and seeing people that we only see once a year or so. Not sure how restful it will be with a six year old and a five month old, but the change of pace will be welcomed!

Pictures!

Here are a few pics that a friend took of Lauren: (I have some of the baby but I can't post them. Sorry!)

Lauren

With all of the court stuff last week I completely forgot to share on here the good news. Lauren had a neurology check up last Monday. He was able to change her medication to one pill a day instead of six pills. That was nice to hear and our insurance company will be happy. We had been seeing her neurologist every six months, but he is letting us go a full year this time! Yay! When she is seizure free for two years we can start to wean her off her medication to see if she is growing out of it. The marker for whether or not she is going to grow out of them is puberty. If she hasn't grown out of them by then the neurologist said that the seizures would manifest into a different kind of epilepsy with possible gran mal seizures. All of that to say that we are just playing the wait and see game. The only side effect that we have seen from all of this is that she is a little slower getting things accomplished. Slow as in each task takes more time than usual. If that is the only issue we have then I can live with it!

Peace

Well, we passed little W off to his new family yesterday. I am praying that this is the last stop for him. They say that before the age of three all the moving around doesn't effect them, but I disagree. The chances of him being placed back with his mom are very slim, so that is a blessing. I spent the day praying for a peaceful feeling about all of it and I think that God has given me that. I got to sit down and talk with the other mom and  we got to talk about his last four months and the ways that he has grown. I truly believe that she loves him and cares. It all seemed right. Of course we are sad because he brought a lot of joy to our house.

God is in control

I have been waiting to update the blog because I wanted to see how the court hearing went that they had this morning. So, the judge ordered that W (the 18 month old) be given back the people that were taking care of him before he came into the foster care system. This is what we have had to prepare our hearts for since the beginning. Of course I am not happy with the judge's ruling and don't understand it. The positive aspect is that W knows these people and has a bond with them. As of now we still have A (the 4 month old) for a few more months. Letting go is the challenge of being a foster parent. You know where they came from and you pray that they go back into a better situation. Not knowing whether or not they are going to continue to help him learn his words or put a bottle back in is mouth is what is so hard. I feel like I have worked so hard over the last four months and I pray that he remembers and it wasn't in vain.

Talk about a lesson in trust!

Well, our weekend started out pretty well. Saturday we got to spend with Paul and then Sunday we got to go down to his work and do a trunk or treat that they were putting on. Monday it started...I got a call on Monday morning that there was going to be a last minute placement hearing on Wednesday morning and that we needed to be prepared to let the boys go back this week. Ok. I was angry, but took a few deep breaths and just decided not to think about it until Wednesday. God is Sovereign and he knows what is best. Monday afternoon we had visitation with the boys mom. Visitation day is is always stressful. We managed to get through it with no major drama. (Thank God!) I get everyone back in their car seats and my car won't start. I am so naive when it comes to automobiles and we have never had an issue with our van up until now. My poor husband is stuck at work and had no idea when he would be able to come. A very sweet friend comes with her jumper cables and nothing happens. My six year old is sobbing because she can't go trick or treating with a friend.  I ended up having to have the van towed on Tuesday morning to the dealership and found out that it was a wire gone bad. The dealership lost our van for a few hours because they couldn't figure out where the tow company had put it. In the midst of all of this our caseworker calls and tells me that family court is cancelled due to another trial going on. We don't know how long we have, but we at least have a few more days. We are grateful for whatever time we can spend with these boys trying to plant whatever positive seeds we can! So, today I am going to get my van back (hopefully!) and am waiting on a call from a client who is going to be induced tonight. Life is never boring around here!

Possibly good news...

As of right now we definitely have the boys through November until the placement hearing on December 1st. This is  great to hear, but now what will happen in December? Trying not to let ourselves think about it right now!
My heart has been so conflicted this week not knowing what was going to happen. A sweet friend reminded me that we have adoption and foster care because of sin and because we live in such a broken world. My focus changed after hearing that. My prayers are not that the boys mom will just get clean and get her life together, but that she will have a heart change, too. I am reminded that we serve such a great and mighty God. He is mighty to save. (that is one of my favorite songs by the way!)

Learning

Boy, it's been awhile. Sorry! Life is full of diapers, sleep schedules and trying to parent a six year old, too. Someday's I feel as if I am slowly losing myself! I know...these stages won't last forever! Today is overwhelming. It's been a tough, frustrating week along with four nights of both boys wanting to be up at 4:00 in the morning and stay up!
It was a week of questioning for me. The family court judge is supposed to make a placement decision this coming week. This means she is making a decision about whether or not the boys stay with us or go back. The frustrating part is that if they go back right now it would be the exact situation that they were pulled out of. The going back part is not what bothers me. It's the desire for them to go back to a BETTER situation. I question what the point in all this was if they are going back now. Instead of focusing my energy on what I can't control, I need to learn to stay in the moment. Right now in this moment we have two little boys who need us. We have two little boys who need to be loved. This is the most emotionally frustrating journey I have ever been on! Those who know us know that Paul and I have been through a lot these past few years. This seems so much harder than all that!

Busy!

I have been so bad about updating! Life with three is a bit crazier than I thought it would be. I think that having two so close together is what causes the most anxiety. Sleep deprivation and I don't get along very well!
Things are good. Please just keep praying for the boys and their family situation. Things are getting emotional on my end since we started to have visitation with their birth mother. It was hard to meet her and see how she interacted with her children. My heart broke. It was not pleasant. I'm sorry that I can't fill you all in on everything but there are pretty strict privacy issues.
My baby girl turned six and lost her first tooth on Saturday. It was pretty exciting! The best part was the money she got for her tooth she said! She is such a big help and is growing up so fast! We are still managing to get schoolwork done! It's a bit tricky. One gets a bottle and goes down for a nap and the other still takes two naps a day so during his morning nap we get as much as we can done. So thankful we have a few days to play around with!

What a week...

Ok...So Wednesday afternoon we got a call from our DCS worker and she asked us if we would like to foster two boys. Not just two boys, but two boys who are only three weeks and fifteen months old! I know nothing about baby boys! Of course we said yes. Every part of me starting shaking when I got off the phone. It's like finding out you are pregnant and having the baby all in one day. I finally came back to my senses and and got on the phone to see who I could borrow baby boy clothes from.We have been so blessed. Not only have people provided clothes, but they have been bringing dinner, too.
Due to privacy reasons I can't share details of the situation or real names. Baby A will be one month old tomorrow and Baby W is somewhere between fourteen and fifteen months. We aren't sure exactly because some of their history is missing still. It has been going well. I have forgotten how tired you get when you are feeding a baby three times a night! Baby A is very sweet, though! Baby W has had a more difficult time of course. Going to sleep has been pretty rough for him. First few days were high anxiety, but he is starting to get adjusted. He smiles more and is playing a lot more. Boys are a whole different world for us!
We'll keep you posted! Please pray for the situation. Please pray for wisdom for DCS and everyone else involved.

Placements!

We have two foster care placements! A three week old and a fifteenth month old. Two boys!  Please pray! Update later!

Updates

First off, I am sorry for the lack of pictures. I am very slow at figuring out how to upload photos to our computer from my phone.
2nd grade is going well. Amazingly well. I was a a bit worried but Lauren has surpassed all of my expectations once again. I think teaching is easier this year because we are passed the basics. She can write well and read well so now we are onto the learning of concepts and things. We are having fun. Yes, we have had our moments and our melt downs, but overall I am so blessed to able to teach her.
I am really glad that I decided to start school early. I had two deliveries this past week and ended up having to take Friday off from school.  On Tuesday we finished school and met some friends at a nail salon and got treated to manicures and pedicures. It was so much fun! Right after we finished I ended up meeting my laboring client at the hospital. It turned out to be a beautiful experience and the kind of  birth that they were hoping for. Friday was a whole different story. The outcome was healthy mom and healthy baby, thank God. It turned out to be a marathon day and a very tough experience for all involved. I am so thankful for my husband who took care of getting Lauren to our sitter's house and taking care of our household.  I am praying for a restful week this week. More babies coming in a few weeks!

What happened?

Where did the time go? What happened to summer? It's back to school time for us already. I am going to try to start on August 3rd pending any laboring mama's between now and then. We have a busy fall season ahead of us and I thought that if I got a head start and we had to take a small break then I wouldn't be too far behind. I'm battling my beginning of the school year nervousness. Since Lauren is a grade ahead I get this "Oh, no...is she REALLY ready?" feeling every time.  She has grown up so much this summer. I am excited to see how she grows through this next school year.

I have some really cute pictures to post, but our computer decided to break. Thankfully, Paul has a laptop that we are able to use to keep up with emails and things. I'll get pictures up when I can!

Today

Today is a celebration! Nine years ago today at 4:20 pm I married my love, my friend.  I have run into so many people lately that say things like "Oh, just another year" or "I don't have the patience to break another one in."  Comments like that make me so angry!  You know what? Anniversaries are for celebrating each other and what you have become together. They are for being proud that you are making it in this world. In this world where people in their early 30's (like us) have been divorced twice already.  I am a much better person because of Paul. I am proud of us!

Every Step, Every Plan

I borrowed this from one of my favorite blogs:


"Take one step at a time, every step under Divine warrant and direction. Ever plan for yourself in simple 
dependence on God. It is nothing less than self-idolatry to conceive that we can carry on even the ordinary matters of the day without his counsel. He loves to be consulted...Consider no circumstances too clear to need his direction. In all thy ways, small as well as great; in all thy concerns, personal or relative, temporal or eternal, let him be supreme. Who of us has not found the unspeakable 'peace' of bringing to God matters too minute or individual to be entrusted to the most confidential ear?... If in true poverty of spirit we go every morning to our Lord, as knowing not how to guide ourselves for this day; our eye constantly looking upward for direction, the light will come down. He shall direct thy paths…. Let the will be kept in a quiet, subdued, cheerful, readiness, to move, stay, retreat, turn to the right hand or to the left, at the Lord’s bidding; always remembering that is best which is least our own doing, and that a pliable spirit ever secures the needful guidance…. No step well prayed over will bring ultimate regret.” ~Charles Bridges

Holidays and babies

Sitting and waiting for "The Band Perry" concert to start. We have a five year old that loves country music!

Paul and Lauren watching fireworks. Last year she was still a bit nervous about them so it was nice to see her enjoying them this year. 

The fireworks on the river were incredible. The concert and everything were free. It was a really nice family evening on a budget! 

My first of five babies coming this summer decided to make her way into the world Wednesday night. It was incredible. It was a very long 22 hours but I will never get over how amazing the birth process is and how God created us. 

Marriage....it's a neat thing

This is a link to a sermon series by Mark Driscoll  from Mars Hill Church in Seattle. It gives you a whole different view of what marriage is supposed to be, especially if you didn't grow up in a christian home.  He goes through the book of Song Of Solomon. It is absolutely amazing and worth listening to no matter where you are in your marriage. It has some really practical advice. We have been listening to bits at a time.     http://www.marshillchurch.org/search/results?q=peasant+princess+sermon+series

Oh, My

Well, here we are day four of the day shift. I had this vision in my mind of finally having "normal" days and more family time. Ha! First day was a 13 hour day, 2nd day was a 17 hour day, 3rd day was about 13 hours. Poor Paul..he got home at 1:00am on Wednesday morning and said "You know how this was supposed to be better? Well, I think I they lied to me!"  Hopefully things will get easier over the next few weeks. It is nice to know, though, that at some point in the evening he will be coming home. Lauren is thrilled to come out of her room in the morning and her daddy is awake and she can spend time with him for a few minutes before he leaves. The adventure that is our life right now!

Changes in our household

Most people would say that I am over reacting to the change that is happening around here, but to me it's pretty big. After eight and a half years of night shift Paul got a day shift position. For the first time in eight years I got up and made breakfast for my husband. Tonight I get to make supper for him when he comes home. Does that sound crazy? I've never done it before. I've never had to schedule meals around my husband's work schedule. I'm used to making him lunch when he woke up and sending his supper with him. We have never had to schedule our evenings around anything but Lauren and I.  Paul has never been home on a week night to help put Lauren to bed or say good night to her. When we do an activity on a week night it's mostly me going alone with Lauren and having to explain where my husband is. One of the ballet mom's asked me if I was a single parent one time. Very glad to not have to experience that feeling again!  We are really excited, but there is going to be some adjustment as we find our new normal.

Some pictures finally!

Grandma's house! 

This is Molly, one of my parents labs. She wanted to know when she could hop in and play with the girls.

Nothing like relaxing in grandma's giant whirlpool tub. Life gets hard when you are forced to play and have fun all day! 

This is the view from my mom and dad's upper deck. Beautiful Ozarks! 

Quiet...maybe a little too quiet

Our house is quiet. VERY quiet. There is five year old little girl chatter missing. For the first few days we have enjoyed it. Paul's job has been really calm this week so he has been home a bit more than usual.  It's been nice. Now I think we are ready for the little girl chatter to come back! She'll be back next week, thankfully. I can't complain. I am so thankful that she gets to spend time with her cousins and my parents. 

I have been busy purging rooms and going through a certain child's room and ridding it of all the "necessary keepsakes" that she accumulates. It is so funny to see what kinds of things she deems as keepsakes.  A gum wrapper, a broken flip flop (because it was the prettiest color of pink that she had ever seen!) or a barbie doll that has it's legs and arms chewed off from the dog. It makes me smile. 

Hurry up and wait

Oh, I feel like my days are filled with waiting for our phone to ring and praying that somebody is calling to tell us that they have a foster care placement for us. In God's time...

Paul has been off for four days and goes back to work this afternoon. I feel like we have been so spoiled these past few days! No agenda, just hanging out together. This next weekend we are going to Missouri to see my parents and drop Lauren off for her summer trip with Grandma and Grandpa. I'm really excited because Paul gets to come too! It is rare that he gets to take a weekend trip.

Update on Lauren: We had a neurology appointment this week. I had noticed that she had been having a few more seizures than normal. Even on medication she still has 1-2 episodes a day. I was noticing 5 or more on some days. The difficult thing is that there are so many triggers.....lack of sleep or being in the sun, etc. Anyway, her Dr. decided that it would be best to increase her medication. The process of increasing the dosage takes almost a month because it has to be done so slowly. You also have to watch for any adverse reactions at the same time. It's all a bit nerve wracking! So along with more medication and sticking to a good routine we are pretty confident. I have been dealing with trying not to worry about her future. If her seizures keep  increasing as she gets older than the likely hood of her growing out of this is pretty slim. It's a daily challenge for me to hand her back over!

The adventure part of the Arthur Adventure...

Do you remember in one of my last posts I told you that there was something I wanted to share? I can finally tell you now! For the past couple years Paul and I have been praying for guidance in how we should expand our family. We have looked into a few adoption agencies and God just kept closing doors. While Paul was in Europe we decided to use our time apart to pray and see what we came together with. My heart was leaning towards adoption through the state of Indiana. If any of you know anything about my background then you know why my heart was leaning that way. When Paul came home in February we had some long discussions about it and we both felt led to foster to adopt. So, as of today we are officially foster parents through the sate of Indiana! We are now anxiously waiting for a placement. We are both excited and terrified! God knows exactly what our family needs. Please pray for us as we start this journey.

"The Mother Load"

What was the original "mother-load" that now causes eyes to bulge and hands to spread to show the magnitude, the intensity? This Mothers' Day I think I have found it, this load on mothers that is so extreme and so weighty and so universal that it has made it's way into pop culture jargon... mother-guilt.
I have yet to find a woman, no matter how old or young, who has grown eyes and skin and bones inside her being or agonized over months of paper work and meticulous training, who is not plagued by the hissing in their ears. 
I can't believe you let your child cry in his bed... you are a selfish mother.
I can't believe you let your child sleep in your bed... you aren't tough enough. 
You started food to early... or too late. 
Your schedule is too lax... or too rigid.
You spank.
You don't spank. 
When our children begin to sin, look us in the eye and say NO to God's way...we think... what have we done wrong? What could we have done different?
When a toddler hits you in the face, spits out his dinner and whines through out the store you feel the eyes of others burning into your back... even the eyes of God seem to weigh you down until you collapse, throw up your hands and cry out for HELP!
When children grow and are angry, distant, ungrateful or simply lost a mother looks back... did I spank enough or too much? What about that one time I got angry and had to leave the room... or raised my voice... or gave that look... if I had not done that one thing, would it be different today, this moment?
A mother makes a million decisions a day... what time to get the children up, what should they wear and what's to eat? How do you educate them and love them and discipline them and teach them all the things they need to know before life deals them a hard blow. What day to do the laundry and the shopping and when to play outside and how to stay safe and clean and socialized... what's for dinner and how many veggies have they had today? What about sleep overs and girl friends and boyfriends and church? Family worship, devotionals, bible memorization? What is enough and when is it too much. When to push and when to give? It's exhausting... and when so many decisions are made, it is impossible to feel secure you made them ALL right in any given day. Add to that multiple children and other people's children and then the clincher... SIN! 
In the midst of this chaos of mind, it's easy to lose sight of God. 
That God who is working all things for your good and His glory.
That God who is making you look more and more like his Son.
That God who knows your child more intimately than you and knows the trials they need to come to Him.
It's not all about you, or them or right now... it's about Him and this plan He has and IS working out... even when dishes lie dirty and laundry mildews in the washer and mom almost loses her cool, again... 
His plan is working, molding, sanctifying... and it is good. 
So, my present to you moms today and a present to myself... let it go. Work hard for the glory of God and raise open palms to the Lord with the rest and look your children in the eye and say, "I did my best, I was faithful... though a sinner and God has a plan for you!". 
God doesn't ask us to save our children or give them a perfect life... he asks us to be faithful to Him
To glorify Him as we shepherd, train, discipline, love and give to God.

Joy of Hair Bows!

This is a website of a friend of mine. She had given me some hair things for Lauren to try and I have to say that if you have issues with clips staying in your little girl's hair you need to try these! Barrettes and clips slide right out of Lauren's hair because she has such fine hair. My friend Terra reinforces her clips with a nonslip piece of fabric. They are AWESOME!   http://www.joybowtique.blogspot.com/     She does custom bows for any occasion. Check it out! Very reasonably priced.

Keepin' on....

This week has been crazy. I think tumultuous would be the word! There is so much going on in our lives that I hope to be able to share with you soon! This has been a bit of my thought process this week. I hope it makes sense! Through this week I have been brought back time after time to Ephesians 3:20-21 "Now to him that is ABLE to do far more ABUNDANTLY than we could ask or think, according to the POWER at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen"   The words that are in caps are the ones that have spoken to me the most.   The best quote that I have heard is "God's most amazing attribute is simply that HE CAN." God chooses to do what he wants and we are so full of our own selves that we don't see how God is pulling us through. I find myself just enduring my circumstances a lot of times instead of opening my eyes to see how God is working them out. I miss out on being able to boast about the power of Christ in my life because I am selfish and get so woe is me feeling. I began thinking about how I put God in a box. I think we all have boxes that we put our beliefs about God into. Beliefs about him that we have learned from our parents, church or past experiences. I don't think that the box itself is wrong. I think that putting the lid on it is wrong. Putting the lid on the box limits our awareness of him and how he is working.  My questions of the day are: Have I put a lid on my box? Have I limited my view of Christ? Do I truly understand how ABLE he is?

Easter

The Easter egg hunt result! 

The eggs that turned out normal! We had some trouble with our color tablets not dissolving. 

                                                  
                      

Book Review

I took a course this past fall on Biblical womanhood and they gave us a list of resources for teaching our children what Biblical womanhood/manhood looks like. This was a book that they recommended for little girls. I bought it a few months ago and have finally had time to read it to Lauren. It is about a King and Queen who receive a gift when their daughter is born. It is a gift of a kiss. A very special kiss. When the princess is old enough they give her the kiss to give to whomever she feels she should. It is a very age appropriate story of purity and how important it is. I was really impressed with it and Lauren is now starting to understand what purity means but on her level.

This is a fun book for little girls about what Godly character is. I had read a children's book review put out by Focus on the Family and they highly recommended this. It has the scripture verse to go along with the different character traits that they talk about in the story. It also puts a big emphasis on the relationship between father and daughter. It's a sweet book! 

Ballet

These are from Lauren's ballet recital a month or so ago. Sorry it took me so long to put them on here! 

Every little girl needs a 

flower from their daddy

for good luck! 

Pretty in pink...with a beak

Here are a few pictures from "Peter and the Wolf" that Lauren and some of her classmates performed in for our Homeschooling Co op. 

Who likes to shop?

I have a mild obsession with etsy and I check throughout the week for new, crafty things. Please take a minute to check out this site.  This is my sister-in-law's etsy shop. She is super talented and does incredible  work! http://www.etsy.com/shop/faradaisyjean. 

This made me laugh because I have had moms who were in labor responding to texts in between contractions.

If only I could express to you what a great accomplishment it is for me to have figured out how to put things in the sidebar of our blog. I stood up and actually cheered for myself!
I wish that I something exciting to share with you, but life has been a bit blah. Lauren was sick last week with a kidney infection that put her in the ER. After some powerful antibiotics and IV fluids she is doing pretty well now. I'm finding myself watching her like a hawk to make sure she is drinking enough and eating to put back on the weight she lost. Oh, the exciting life of a child who is only in the 25th percentile for weight! Now height on the other hand is like 107th! I feel so boring blogging about my child's illness and body size....
I am being challenged in the homeschooling area this week. Last week we didn't accomplish any school due to Lauren's issues, so we started back full force on Monday. I prayed all weekend  that it would be a smooth transition back into our routine. Monday was great. Yesterday and today...well....everything is a battle. It makes me weary and tired to think about what things are going to be like when she is thirteen. I love her with all my heart but maybe we will be raptured before she hits puberty.........

Read this today:

"Your soul's business is in the hand of a High Priest who can be touched with the feeling of your infirmities...He well knows that world through which you are struggling, for He dwelt in the midst of it thirty-three years. He well knows 'the contradiction of sinners', which so often discourages you, for He endured it Himself (Heb. 12:3). He well knows the art and cunning of your spiritual enemy, the devil, for He wrestled with him in the wilderness. Surely with such an advocate you may well feel bold.

Are you alone in the world, and neglected by those who ought to love you?

So also was Jesus.

Are you misunderstood, misrepresented, slandered and persecuted?

So also was Jesus.

Do you ever feel great agony and conflict of mind? Do you feel in darkness as if God has left you?

So did Jesus.

It is impossible to conceive a Savior more suited to the wants of man's heart than our Lord Jesus Christ--suited not only by His power, but by His sympathy--suited not only by His divinity, but His humanity...[He] is the most loving and sympathizing of friends, as well as the mightiest and most powerful of Saviors....you want no comfort...so long as you can repose your weary soul on the Man Christ Jesus."  ~J.C. Ryle, Holiness, pp.240-24

Randomness...

Every girl needs false fingernails at some point in their life. Why not have a little color?

One weaving loom and three hours later......

Easy bake oven time!

Lauren's favorite thing to do is put on a dress that twirls, put on music through the T. V. speakers and dance until she can't stand up straight anymore! This picture is completely her personality.

Distractions....

So...um...I am not doing so well on my memorization. The first two days I totally rocked it and had a good plan of trying to get two verses a day down. Then I got busy. I worked a couple days this week and had ballet practices and recitals, etc..My, oh, my am I not as disciplined as I thought I was! I feel like I got a bit squashed. God is teaching me a lesson in relying on him in ALL things! I can't memorize on my own strength.

Ash Wednesday

I will admit right now that I did not have the disciplne to drag my behind out of bed for our 6:30am Ash Wednesday service this morning. Yes, I know. I am lazy! On a more serious note, I have been praying for a week or so about what God might calling me to do over these next days of lent. Last year I gave up reading novels. It was actually very rewarding because a year later I am not back to reading them at the level that I was. I realized how much unproductive time I spent reading. I am getting more sleep now and have more time. This year, instead of sacrificing something I am going to do somethng. Starting today, Paul and I have committed to memorizing Romans 8 in the next 40 days. This is 39 verses in 40 days. I am not posting this to gloat and say hey, look what we are doing. I am asking for prayer! Prayer that we can actually accomplish it, but also prayer for our hearts and minds to be transformed by it. Sometimes I am so guilty of just memorizing it to say I've memorized it instead of really reflecting upon it. Let the journey begin!  Todays verses are:  "So there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For with  the power of the living spirit you are freed in Christ from the power of sin that brings death."  That should be Romans 8: 1-2.

We made it!

My friend is home. Oh, how I missed him! Paul flew in Saturday night. Lauren couldn't sit still in the airport, so she stood as near as she could to the arrival gate looking for her daddy. It was sweet! We are not sure where this leaves us as far as his travels go. We are waiting to find out what the next step is.  I would love for him to stay home for awhile or for us to be able to travel with him. This seperation stuff stinks.

I had a nice time visiting my family. I will say that I will NEVER take three dogs on a trip with me again. It was not fun. I think that by the time I got to my parents house I was so worn out that the dogs just added to to the stress. I am not an anxious person. I don't get upset that easily. I had a panic attack a few days after I got  there. Lesson learned! Anyway, I love my family. Things can get stressfull by the size of our family and our personality differences, but God gave us eachother for a reason.

Two babies and the flu....

I am so thankful that God answers prayer!  I haven't had a full nights sleep since Thursday, but I am so grateful that there are healthy babies in the world. Friday and Saturday was a marathon thirty five hour labor and delivery. Lauren was sick Sunday and Monday. Bless her heart. It was not a pretty sight, but thankfully very short lived. The whole time I am praying that the other baby would not come until Lauren got  better! God answered that prayer. Tuesday morning (this morning) my other mom is in labor and has the most beautiful, fast labor I have ever been a part of! I am exhausted. God is so good. 

Another change in plans...

So, in the last post I had just heard that Paul was going to be extended for two weeks. Well, today I heard that he is only going to be gone for ONE extra week! Three weeks gone sounds so much better than 1 whole month! I am so happy!
So far I am STILL playing the waiting game on these babies. One is 8 days overdue the other is 2 weeks. One is having a homebirth so that means there is no induction unless there is an emergency.The way things are looking I don't think I am going to make it to Missouri to see my family. I have just decided in my heart to be ok with whatever happens and quit worrying. Of course it all boiled down to what my plans were..yeah...we already discussed what happens when you have your own plans. If I miss my family weekend then that is going to be fine.
Hopefully we will get a little snow so that Lauren and I can play in it. It is amazing how many times you can play slapjack, connect four, and Pretty, Pretty Princess. Five year olds never get tired.

A snippet....

I was so encouraged by this little article from a friend's blog:

I cannot remember a time when I didn't get up every morning and find my mom reading her Bible, praying. Not only did I see the habit, but I also remember that she was always filled with joy when she was done. Some of my earliest memories was getting up before all my siblings (I was an early riser when I was really little...it's a little harder now!) and my mom making an extra cup of tea for me, and playing on the floor while she read her Bible. (I was a talker, so she also had to train me that Bible time was No Talking time)



One of the biggest ways that I was motivated to read my Bible was seeing this example--and my mom always encouraging me that it was a friendship, a delight, and not a task. Because of this, I had an interest to know Jesus through his word at a young age. I have journals of consistent reading and prayer from age 10 on. I cannot tell you, now as an (semi-)adult, how much of a blessing this has been. It has given me a history of love for God's word and a confidence in prayer. It has taught me the habit, and the value for God's word. So, if you are seeking to set this example, don't give up! You might not see fruit now, but Jesus has promised that we will reap (Gal 6:9).



Your example makes a difference--but if you feel like you have failed as an example, take heart. If you have fears for your children's souls, fears that they will not come to be satisfied in Jesus, let your heart take courage. Remember the promises of our Lord:



"I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten" (Joel 2:25) and "The Lord has done great things for us; we are glad. Restore our fortunes, O Lord, like streams in the Negeb! Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him." (Psalm 126:3-6)





Moms: May the faithfulness of God strengthen you as you strive to faithfully seek Him. I pray that the little ones who watch you sit at Jesus' feet will one day seek Him too!

Ok....slight change in plans

So...I'm still waiting on my two pregnant mama's to deliver. I can't help but laugh about this situation. One of my moms always has early babies. Both of us were positive that she would have given birth early last week. What is that saying....God laughs when we make our own plans? Yep.

Paul called this morning. He is having a great time. They have given him a lot more responsibility than he expected so he is a bit nervous, but very excited because this is such a great opportunity career wise. He also told me that they extended his trip for two more weeks. This means that he will have been gone for month when he comes home. He should be back sometime during the first part of March. I am really glad for this opportunity for him, so I can't be upset. The thought of a month is a bit daunting at the moment. I keep telling myself that I've already done it two times before..what's a few more weeks?

So far we are ok. All people and dogs are still alive. Lauren had a slight accident with a couch corner, but it could have been much worse. Thankfully, I can handle blood.  She is quite proud of her wound! A nice bruise and a tooth sized hole on the inside of her lip. Nothing else has been chewed up or broken. We are doing pretty well today!

One day!

We have made it a full day since Paul flew out. Whew! Lauren hasn't cried or even mentioned him. That sounds really bad, but not mentioning him is her way of dealing with him not being home. Please pray a hedge of protection around us! Everytime Paul leaves we have stressful days following. I am not joking. It's like the devil testing me to see if I will break. Last trip the dog got sick, the garage door broke and the washing machine broke all within 24 hours. Today the same dog is sick again with some sort of bladder issue, the other dog decapitated one of Lauren's Americn Girl dolls. (It took me an hour to figure out how to get it back on without spending $40 for a new head.) On top of all of this two of my clients that were supposed to deliver last week are still hangin' in there. I am praying that they deliver in the next few days. Please pray that nothing major breaks in our house, my childcare for Lauren will be there when I need it so I make it to thse births and that the rest of this time goes smoothly.

It's time....again....

Paul is going back to Holland on another business trip next week. I don't know why they call it a business trip...sounds like it should be stressful or something! He gets to work much shorter hours than he does here and he gets to travel to any European country he wants to!  It's supposed to be a much a shorter trip this time. Just a few weeks. Hopefully. Last time he was gone things got a little crazy over there and we weren't sure when he was coming home.

I am not on call for any babies while he is gone this time.  The last two trips I was on call and it was hard having to stay at home by ourselves. This time I am going to see my parents and spend a very belated holiday weekend with all of my siblings and their families. Getting all five of us together with our spouses and kids is a rare thing due to our locations and schedules. The only person missing will be Paul. :(  He is a bit bummed about missing the Super Bowl, Valentines Day and our  family weekend.

 I still don't think that Lauren realizes that he is leaving again. We have tried o talk about it with her. We'll see how it goes. She was very brave the last  time we took him to the airport. She didn't cry in the airport at all. We were walking out to the car and she turned to me and said "Mom, when we get outside can I bawl my eyes out?"  My heart broke.

Allowance

After much discussion, we decided that Lauren was old enough for an allowance and to learn the responsibility of money. She has a daily chore chart that she has to complete and in return she receives her allowance at the end of the week.   Below is an idea that we borrowed from one of our pastors at church. We decided a starting amount and we also have a top amount  as she gets older. Yes, there is a cap!

We bought an index card sized accordian file:

We labeled three separate compartments: Give, Save, and Spend.  In the give slot she puts in a  portion of her money to give to God for her tithe. In the save spot she puts in a portion to save for something big that she wants or we will put it in the bank for her.  In the spend slot she puts the rest of her money into for buying  little things or doing something fun like going for dessert, etc. .

She seems to like the idea of earning money and being able to use her own money for things she wanted.  It was such a joy to see how excited she was to give her money to God! We had a few talks last week about what tithing meant and how God wants us to use our money.

A new year, new happenings!

I know that it's ten days into the new year, but we have been slightly busy adjustung to new changes around here. Paul and Lauren both went back to school last week. Paul is finishing up his degree and Lauren started first grade. She finished kidergarten in three months. The option was to move her up or continue to do the same things for the remainder of the school year.  I was a little worried that we were pushing her too fast, but she seems to be handling things well.  Being ahead will enable us to slow down if she does have some trouble. After seeking some wise counsel, I feel that were are doing a good thing. It is so much fun to see her grasp new concepts!

The rest of the crew...