As of right now we definitely have the boys through November until the placement hearing on December 1st. This is great to hear, but now what will happen in December? Trying not to let ourselves think about it right now!
My heart has been so conflicted this week not knowing what was going to happen. A sweet friend reminded me that we have adoption and foster care because of sin and because we live in such a broken world. My focus changed after hearing that. My prayers are not that the boys mom will just get clean and get her life together, but that she will have a heart change, too. I am reminded that we serve such a great and mighty God. He is mighty to save. (that is one of my favorite songs by the way!)
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Learning
Boy, it's been awhile. Sorry! Life is full of diapers, sleep schedules and trying to parent a six year old, too. Someday's I feel as if I am slowly losing myself! I know...these stages won't last forever! Today is overwhelming. It's been a tough, frustrating week along with four nights of both boys wanting to be up at 4:00 in the morning and stay up!
It was a week of questioning for me. The family court judge is supposed to make a placement decision this coming week. This means she is making a decision about whether or not the boys stay with us or go back. The frustrating part is that if they go back right now it would be the exact situation that they were pulled out of. The going back part is not what bothers me. It's the desire for them to go back to a BETTER situation. I question what the point in all this was if they are going back now. Instead of focusing my energy on what I can't control, I need to learn to stay in the moment. Right now in this moment we have two little boys who need us. We have two little boys who need to be loved. This is the most emotionally frustrating journey I have ever been on! Those who know us know that Paul and I have been through a lot these past few years. This seems so much harder than all that!
It was a week of questioning for me. The family court judge is supposed to make a placement decision this coming week. This means she is making a decision about whether or not the boys stay with us or go back. The frustrating part is that if they go back right now it would be the exact situation that they were pulled out of. The going back part is not what bothers me. It's the desire for them to go back to a BETTER situation. I question what the point in all this was if they are going back now. Instead of focusing my energy on what I can't control, I need to learn to stay in the moment. Right now in this moment we have two little boys who need us. We have two little boys who need to be loved. This is the most emotionally frustrating journey I have ever been on! Those who know us know that Paul and I have been through a lot these past few years. This seems so much harder than all that!
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